Cristina 02/16/2012
 
I have asked each one of the girls in Esther's House to write their stories down.  My desire is for all of you who support us and those who are curious to get to know these girls.  They are all incredible women of God who have overcome serious hardships in their young lives many for the sake of their children.  The first young lady I have known the longest and am probably the closest too.  I am honored that God has placed her and my son in my life.  Here is her story:
My name is Cristina.  That is not my real name, but for now I use it because I need protection.  I have a 7 year old son and I call him Alex.  I am 17 years old.  Before I lived in Esther's House I lived in another home that was a private organization.  That is to say the government didn't operate it.  The house was very beautiful but the people who worked there were not kind.  One day the house got closed because there was no money to support us.  I had to go and live in a government orphanage with my son.  I lived there for 3 months.  After this they moved me to another organization that was ugly and very bad.  Sometimes they did not give us food as a means of discipline.  When I was there I believed that there was not even one person who cared about me.  I felt alone in my heart.  Every night I cried because I didn't have anyone who cared about me.  One day the director told me that I had a visitor and I asked her who it was but she said she didn't know.  So I waited anxiously for Sunday to come.  When I entered the visitation hall I looked around the room and saw Beth enter for a visit.  When I saw her my heart began to beat really fast and filled up with joy.  I was very happy because I knew she was a good lady and I remembered many fun times that she and I had together.  15 days passed after that visit and during that time there was another girl in my placement that harassed me a lot.  She was a very bad person.  I was very angry because no one would listen to me or help protect me from her.  I did not want to have any problems with her, but the last Sunday that Beth visited me the girl hit my son and I hit her back.  She and I got into a fist fight.  Everyone was afraid of her but in that moment I was not afraid.  I knew after the fight I would receive very severe consequences.  So when Beth visited that final Sunday I was honest and I told her what I had done.  Beth talked to the director and asked her why they did not protect me and my son but the director only told her that I would receive consequences for my actions.  My discipline was to live in a place where there were only bad girls and I could not receive visits for 3 months and in that moment I was afraid.  But God is big and marvelous. So in that final visit I made plans with Beth to run away from that horrible place.  On a Tuesday morning I ran away from that place.  I was afraid to run away, but God gave me the courage.  I knew He was going to protect me.  I knew the people from Esther's Heart were all praying for me.  Beth came to get me and brought me to Esther's House.  Now I live in the house and I feel peace, love, and I have many things.  I know it is all because of Christ.  He is in my heart.  I appreciate everything that God has done for me
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Almost 8 years ago a little girl was raped by her father.  She was 9 years old.  9 months later at the age of 10 she gave birth to a healthy little boy.  She named him Alexander.  Today Alexander turned 7 years old.  Both he and his mother live with me in Esther's House.  Alexander in many ways is a normal little boy.  He loves to play soccer, he often enters the house with a gecko in his pocket and he loves to play practical jokes.  What makes him exceptional is the calling God has already placed on his young life.  Alexander is gifted in the area of music.  He wants to be a worship leader.  Often times he will hold church services in the back yard.  He leads worship, and preaches to the other children. (sometimes the teens are required to attend as well)  In church before the service begins you will find Alexander on his knees at the altar praying.  He is such an example that most of the children in his Sunday School class follow him and get on their knees to pray as well.  Not only does Alex live in Esther's House but he is also in our child sponsorship program. The money that his sponsor family sends each month enables Alex to attend a local Christian music academy where he is being taught Guitar, piano, voice, Bible, and how to become an effective worship leader.  
Thanks to all of you who support us and make it possible for Alex to carry out the calling God has on his life.
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Tatiana's birthday was on January first, but since I was traveling that day we celebrated yesterday.  Tatiana is one of our young mothers who live with us in Esther's House.  She has lived with us for 9 months now and I am thrilled to see how she is progressing.   Tatiana had nothing but the clothes on her back when we received her.  Her daughter Glenda didn't even have shoes on her feet.  She had run away from another facility that the government had placed her in because they were abusing her daughter.  Glenda had bruises on her arms from where she had been hit by staff.  Tatiana was so shy when she came.  She spent her days in her room afraid to speak to me.  I remember when I took her clothes shopping.  She picked out one outfit for her and one for her daughter.  She was nervous to even ask for that much.  When I told her that she needed at least 5 outfits she was shocked.  She had a difficult time accepting our charity.  
Today Tatiana is a leader in the house.  She is responsible for over-seeing the other girls as they complete their daily tasks.  She is also responsible for all of the educational needs of the others.  Tatiana is enrolled in a beauty school and is also in high school.  She sings with the worship team in our church and is training to be a student leader in our youth group.  She has also participated in some dramas that we have produced. 
Tatiana shares her testimony in front of groups of people about how God has taken this girl who was orphaned at the age of 4 and used her in such a mighty way.  I admire Tatiana for the way she is using her life for God.  She could easily be bitter for all that she has been through in her young life.  Instead she uses her experiences to help others and to glorify God.  I think we all can learn a lesson from the life of Tatiana.
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Youth Retreat 12/16/2011
 
Esther's Heart Ministry raised $750 to send several teens to a youth retreat hosted by Alcance Victoria San Salvador.  Among those teens were the 5 teens from Esther's House and 6 of our sponsor children.  I was honored to be able to work at the retreat for the weekend.  
I loaded my car with 5 nervous teen mothers.  This was the first time any of them had left their children for more than a few hours.  As we drove the 45 minutes to the retreat the girls began to sing  and focus on the activities ahead of them and the nervousness went out the window.
Just watching the 5 women from Esther's House that weekend was more than a blessing to me.  I watched Tatiana, whose shyness brings her to tears most days, get up in front of 40 people and share her testimony.  I watched Ester, who just accepted Christ into her heart, break down into tears as she prayed and asked God to help her to grow closer to Him.  I watched Antonia, who struggles to understand basic concepts, as a light came on and she finally seemed to grasp the concept of talking to her heavenly Father.  I watched as all 5 girls reluctantly performed a drama in front of the camp for a talent competition.  I watched them receive a trophy as they won first place.  Their efforts rewarded.  
Most days here are overwhelming to me with so much work to be done.  Running 11 children to school, work, college, and appointments.  Add in the grocery shopping, bill paying, sick babies, skinned knees, extra curricular activities (for 11) and I can quickly lose focus of why I am here.  So many were blessed during this retreat, but I think, as I took time to step back and watch them, I was more blessed than any of the youth who attended the retreat.
Thanks to all who made it possible.
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Balloons 11/12/2011
 
Once a month we host a youth fellowship at Esther's House in conjunction with Alcance Victoria SS GANG (God's Anointed Now Generation).  I am generally in charge of games and refreshments.  This morning I woke up at 6:00AM (not an easy thing for me on a Saturday morning) and began to fill 500 water balloons.  As I began to fill the balloons one at a time I looked at the pile of unfilled balloons in front of me.  It seemed like I would never fill all of the balloons.  No matter how many balloons I took to fill my pile of empty balloons did not seem to get any smaller.  
I began to think about a conversation that I had with Kathy Fournier, Director of Esther's  Heart Ministry.  When we were considering opening Esther's House I spent a lot of time talking to a lot of teens and young mothers who were either in government centers or living on the street.  I selected 3 young mothers and their 3 children and began the work to get them out of the government centers they were in and into Esther's House.  I visited one center where there were about 150 teens sitting.  I don't know what they were in the room for, but everyone of them had a hopeless depressed look on their face.  I was there to visit one mother and her son.  I became overwhelmed and I called Kathy that night in tears.  How can we only help 6 children when so many need help?  Just like the pile of balloons, I knew that even if i took these two children out of the center there were still so many more that needed our help.  As we talked Kathy said "We help the ones that we can.  We know we won't ever touch every child's life, but we help them one by one".  
One by one I kept filling balloons.  One by one we keep helping children.  We have 11 in Esther's House now.  We have 10 children sponsored through our sponsor program.  We work with about 15 more youth as we partner with Alcance Victoria.  One by one we are making a difference.  
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The Joyful Giver 11/02/2011
 
Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 2 Corinthians 9:7  Antonia, age 24, is mentally challenged.  In most ways she is very much like a 12 or 13 year old.  Part of this is biological, but I also believe a lot of it is caused by the severe neglect she has endured throughout her life.  When we received Antonia I wanted her to be able to feel a sense of pride, a sense of purpose to her life so I asked a woman who owns a local cafe if Antonia could volunteer there.  Since Antonia has no concept of money I told the lady she did not need to pay her, I just wanted her to have the opportunity to learn a skill.  
Antonia was thrilled to go to work.  On her second day she came home with two pairs of pants that her new boss had given to her.  I explained to her what a blessing it was to her and that when she works hard she will be rewarded.  As time went on Antonia began to make tortillas and, it turns out, she is very good at it.  Antonia came home one day with .25.  She was thrilled. To her it might as well have been $1,000.  I explained to her that whenever she receives money the first thing she does is pay her tithe, second is put some in savings, and third pay her rent.  
Antonia could not wait for Sunday to come.  She sat next to me with her .3 in her hand as I filled out her tithe envelope.  She put her 3 coins in the envelope and waited on the edge of her seat.  When it was time to collect the offering, I saw her smile ear to ear.  I'm sure she wanted to sprint to the front of the church and drop her envelope into the basket, but she waited for it to pass by her.  She placed her envelope in the basket and sat up tall and proud.  I think we all could learn from this young lady and the excitement that she has each week in giving her tithe.  
Antonia continues to make Tortillas each day and now gets a regular pay of $2.25 each day.  I am blessed to have her as an example of what a cheerful giver is.
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Today I had the honor of staying in the house all day with 4 of our little ones.  I have to say it was a hectic morning but in a good way.  When the sibling rivalry finally got to me I separated our two youngest, Luis and Faviola.  The two of them can't seem to be in the same room without pinching, biting or scratching each other.  I brought Faviola into my bedroom and left Luis in my living room and I stayed in the doorway watching them both. Faviola's attention was quickly grabbed by a full length mirror and the little playmate that was inside of it.  I watched Faviola begin to interact with her reflection, talking to her showing her the contents of her purse etc... Periodically she would put her hand behind the mirror to see if she could touch the little girl.  She offered the little girl a glass of water but she would not take it.  At one point Faviola had to go to the bathroom and asked the little girl to go with her.  Faviola took 4 steps away from the mirror and turned to see that the little girl had not followed her.  She walked back to the mirror, "Come on" she said and walked away again.  The little girl still did not follow.  Finally Faviola threw her hands up in frustration, "Fine.  Wait here.  I have to go to the bathroom."  I finally explained to Faviola that the little girl in the mirror could not leave the mirror that she had to stay in there.  Faviola sat back down and continued to have a tea party with her new friend.
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My City 10/13/2011
 
When I was young I used to love when missionaries would visit our church.  I used to admire their lives and just think how proud God must be of them.  I used to think that they had perfect lives because they were truly God's servants.  Now here I am a missionary.  Who knew...(well, I honestly think my mom knew years ago) I love serving God but I have to say that my life is far from perfect.  I make mistakes.  Sometimes in the middle of serving God I forget what my purpose is here.  I get caught up in the same issues that you do.  Relationships, finances, family.  They all affect me.  They all distract me from time to time.  
If I'm being honest I tell you that I am struggling this week.  Working with two ministries is challenging to say the least but I love it.  Now that Esther's House is in full swing with 9 children and teens things are a bit more challenging for me.  Add into the mix a personal crisis and there it is i've lost my focus.  As hard as I was trying to keep my head above water, I felt myself sinking fast.  
On Thursdays, I go with my Pastor and Mentor to a Bible study.  My goal is to reach the youth in this tiny mountain side community that we are working in.  So there I was sitting in this cell group, as it is called, struggling to focus on the message that was being shared.  My thoughts wondering towards my personal issues.  I couldn't focus on the word, I couldn't focus on the worship, I couldn't focus during prayer.  As we walked out of the house that we were meeting in I was feeling pretty disappointed in myself that I was unable to let go of my problems even for 2 hours to worship God.  I had completely lost focus.  As we walked in our group down the steps, down the side of this small hill my Pastor pointed ahead of us.  There, down in the valley, I saw my love.  The reason why I am here.  I saw the lights of San Salvador.  It was a beautiful view. Thousands of lights lit up the sky.  It was breath taking.  I looked at one of the girls that was with me and I said to her, "There is my love.  That is why I am here".  I thanked God in that moment for the beautiful reminder.  I praise Him for being faithful to me even when I fail at being faithful to him.  
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David 09/13/2011
 
Today is David's birthday.  David is a young man that I go to church with and also one of our sponsor kids.  We threw a surprise birthday party for David today.  Me, my Pastor, my worship leader and about 8 of our students from our youth group had a good time celebrating David's birthday.  I'm sure this was the first party he's had and I have to say he may have been a bit overwhelmed.  Before we prayed for him we asked him to share a few words.  He said something that hit my heart very hard and reminded me why God has me here.  He said "I am glad I made it to 19 years"  You see, David lives in an area that is heavily populated by the gangs.  Where very often violence and death surround him.  To us a birthday is a day of fun and presents.  To David it is an opportunity to thank God for His mercy and protection.  A lot of kids in David's area do not make it to their 19 birthdays.  It impressed in my heart how very serious the work is that we do here.  So many days I just go through the day not really thinking about the seriousness of my work.  I just work.  I love what I do and so I breeze through most days.  Today though is different.  While I did enjoy myself immensely today, I was also reminded that what we are doing here is serious business.  It is a matter of life and death in some cases.  I want to wish David a very happy birthday.  I praise God for him, and I know God is going to use him greatly in the years to come.
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I work a lot with teens here as part of my job.  I am honored to serve them and generally have a great time with these kids.  Last week I was hosting an event in my home and as I was cleaning up, one of the young men in our sponsor program wandered into my kitchen and started to help me wash the dishes.  I love this kid.  I love to watch him worship God on Sunday mornings.  He inspires me, really.  As I was sharing this with him he began to share his testimony with me.  He shared with me that previous to becoming a Christian he had killed his girl friend.  Wow.  That hit me very hard.  Of course our thoughts normally should go directly to the family of the victim, but my thoughts were on him.  At such a young age and now serving God, having the knowledge of what he did and not being able to fix it must weigh so heavily on his heart.  I found myself encouraging him.  Sharing with him how God used Paul (who killed thousands) for such mighty things.  I do believe that in the same way, God is going to use this young man in mighty ways.  I wonder how others may react to him if they knew the reality of his past.  I just think that this is why I am here.  I am not here to judge, but to encourage.  I work with all kinds of people every day.  I don't know their pasts.  I am sure some have committed even worse acts.  I do know this, I am honored that God has chosen me.  I am honored to have these kids fellowship with me in my home.  I am honored to serve them.  
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